internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

(via buttercrush-hitch)

af-terglow:

how weird is the thought that some of the biggest days of our lives haven’t even happened yet

(via kawaiikemonomimi)

homosassy:

the dumbest thing is when parents say “this isnt how i raised you” like ?????? yes it really is you literally raised me and here i am

(via imperfecti0ned)

sisterjudyjudybobudy:

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read. 

(via ninjafirefox)

selhorys:

when someone associates you with a character you really really love it’s like the best feeling in the world everyone go home

(Source: duhnairies, via nothing--left-to-lose)